Lick this Blog: a Disclaimer

I hate the idea of the blog. Having a blog, in my opinion, usually means you're a bit of a wanker. I say that with the utmost respect for people who can actually develop an interesting idea, but you see: a blog wishes it were a diary, left strategically open to a juicy, tantalizing page in the hope that the right person will happen upon it, thereby telling the reader the thing you can't tell them to their face (i.e. "I want you"... and I do). Only this diary is written by someone incredibly, remarkably boring who actually only wants you because they're so remarkably bored. Armed with the knowledge that I am, now more than ever, a wanker of rare form: nothing I write will ever be interesting enough. This blog will mercifully self destruct in five... four...

The situation is thus: my internet access will be extremely limited over the the next five months, due to the fact that even though Al Gore invented this technological marvel, someone in the past few years has apparently kept it hush-hush from the French.
Though originally this limited time online was a major disappointment to me (who needs to communicate with their mom anyway?) I realize that it keeps me from commiting a horrible crime: I refuse to tell you what I ate for breakfast or my "theme-song-of-the-day." Just because one makes a sentence, doesn't mean a word's been said. Tell me, do you care if I was late to class?
Upon my triumphant return I'll probably still be just another A-hole, but I want to find that my friends still know who I am and don't hate me for it.

Indeed, I want you.

note: "blog" is to be changed to anything other than "blog," which ranks in stupidity with such words as the state-name "Kentucky" and the adjective "puffy."