Post-Thanksgiving Turkey Soup

Let's just skip right past the fact that I haven't posted in many, many moons. Regina asked for my Turkey Soup recipe and what better place to post it? This recipe is about a thousand miles from being an exact science--I usually just wing it, no pun intended--so pardon me if it sounds like complete gibberish.

Turkey Soup

 Ingredients:

1 turkey carcass left over from Thanksgiving
Cold water
1 half white or yellow onion, diced
3-4 carrots
2-3 stalks celery
3 cloves garlic, minced
Fresh or dried parsley to taste
Herbs to taste (depending on what you like, I use thyme, rosemary, sage, turmeric, etc.)
Salt and pepper
Egg noodles (from the freezer section [Reame's Brand] or homemade--I make mine using this recipe)

Optional:
peas, potatoes, mushrooms, turnips, whatever veggies you like in soup.

Destructions:

Begin by placing the turkey carcass in a large stock pot and covering it with cold water. Set to medium-high heat and simmer for at least one hour (or three, if, like me, you forget what you're doing and stop paying attention).

If you want to add turkey meat that has already been carved off of the bird, DO NOT add it yet. Turkey gets very rubbery when it is boiled too long, and it's better to add the extra meat near the end.

I prefer to let the stock cool and then refrigerate the whole pot over night so that I can skim the fat off the top, but if you're hungry and ready to go just move on to the next step. A little fat never hurt anyone, said no cardiologist ever.

Let the broth cool a little so that you can either fish out or strain out the turkey carcass (which should have broken up by now) without scalding yourself. While the turkey bones and meat cool enough to be handled, prepare your vegetables. I like to soften the carrots, celery, and onion up by cooking them for about five minutes in a frying pan with a little olive oil, adding the garlic in the last minute to release the aroma. This reduces the overall cooking time.

Dump the veggies into the stock and add your herbs and spices, heating over medium heat to simmer. If you have leftover (homemade) gravy, you can mix this into the broth for flavor and thickness too. So delicious.

This will need to simmer for at least twenty minutes, during which time you can pull the meat off of the turkey bones. If you're making your noodles by scratch, make them now.

In the last ten minutes of cooking, add noodles and turkey meat. (If you're using frozen egg noodles, they will need to cook longer than fresh noodles. Follow the instructions on the package.)

Taste the broth and add more seasonings as needed. Serve when it tastes right and everything's cooked.

PS: if you make the noodles from scratch, you will have egg whites left over to use for meringue cookies.

White Beans and Bacon "Goulash"

This recipe is delicious. It's not really necessary for me to say that, since it has bacon in it, which, like, duh. In case you don't know, white beans and bacon are like the Lucy and Desi of food (bacon is obviously Lucy).

I serve this over rice, which make it sort of a combination of a cassoulet and your standard beans-and-rice dish. It's not a true goulash, but it reminds me of one in it's satisfying warmth and deliciousness. It's pure comfort food. Once again, there are no pictures because we ate it all.

White Beans and Bacon "Goulash"

3 strips of high-quality, thick bacon (or more, I suppose, if you feel it in your soul)

1 half medium onion, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced

1 can great northern beans (rinsed and drained)
1 can diced tomatoes (with garlic, if you can find them)
1/4 to 1/2 cup white wine
Cooked rice for serving

Cut bacon into half-inch pieces. Sauté in heavy skillet on medium-high until some of the grease is rendered, then add chopped onion. Cook until onion begins to turn translucent--about 4 minutes--then add garlic. Add a pinch of salt and a dash of pepper. Sauté 5 more minutes, but do not brown onions.

Add the tomatoes, undrained, then the rinsed beans.  When tomatoes are bubbly, add white wine. Simmer over medium or low heat (as needed) heat until the sauce has reduced. I let mine cook while my rice was cooking--about 20 minutes. But it's not necessary to cook it this long. If things get sticky, add a little bit of water.

Serve over hot rice.

Comfort food. Yes, indeed.

Serves 2 overeaters.

High-fat foods for happy people.

Today is the first day of Nanowrimo and also my first day as an officially unemployed person. Before I start writing like a mad bastard though, I thought I'd share this recipe.

Fully-Loaded Scalloped Potatoes

Ingredients:

• About 1lb Yukon Gold potatoes, peeled, washed, and thinly sliced.
• 1/2 onion, thinly sliced
• 1 Tbsp butter
• 1 ham steak, cubed
• 2 cups broccoli (fresh or frozen, no big deal)
• 2 1/2 cups heavy cream, half and half, or milk (or some combination; I use half milk, half cream)
• 1-2 cups grated Parmesan (not the kind in the can, the refrigerated kind in the bag)
• salt
• pepper
• thyme

Directions:

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Cut all your vegetables and ham first. If you're using frozen broccoli, microwave it for about 1 minute to thaw it some, and chop it up a little if the pieces are large. Just a rough chop, nothing too neat.

In a deep frying pan or dutch oven, melt butter over medium heat. Add sliced onions and sprinkle with salt. Stir these around every minute or so until they begin to deeply caramelize. Throw in the cubed ham and cook for another minute or so to brown it up a bit.

Stir in milk/cream and heat until it's warm, but not boiling.

Spray a casserole dish with non-stick spray and begin to assemble the layers. Add one layer of potatoes, then broccoli. Ladle some of the liquid mixture over the layer, being sure to distribute the onions and ham evenly. Sprinkle each layer with Parmesan, salt, pepper, and thyme. This should yield about three layers depending on the size of your pan.

When you've used up all the ingredients (make sure you end with cheese on top!) bake for 45-55 minutes.

Tim and I gorged ourselves on this during the storm. It's the perfect meal for a rainy day and it's ridiculously indulgent.

PS. Technically this is not scalloped potatoes but actually a gratin, because of the cheese, but I do what I want.

Mind-Bogglingly Delicious Black Bean Soup

It's good for you. It's easy to make. And it's ridiculously delicious. The only problem is that it practically disappeared before I could get a picture.

Black Bean Soup

1 Onion, diced
1 Red bell pepper, diced
2 tbsp Olive oil
2 tbsp Butter
salt
2 tbsp Paprika
2 tbsp Cumin
1 tbsp Cayenne pepper
1 tsp Chipotle pepper
1/2 tsp Oregano
2 cloves Garlic
1 lb Boneless, skinless chicken breast
1 16 oz can Black Beans
1 12 oz can Fire roasted diced tomatoes
1 quart Chicken broth

Stupid easy.

Heat the olive oil and butter in a dutch oven or large pot over medium high heat. When hot, add diced pepper and onion and sauté for about five minutes.

Meanwhile, cut chicken into small pieces. Add cut-up chicken to onions and peppers and stir in all dry spices. When chicken is opaque on all sides (about five minutes), add crushed, fresh garlic. Sauté until onions are translucent.

Stir in tomatoes, black beans, and chicken broth (using all the liquid from the cans). Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer 20 minutes (the longer the better).

Serve with tortilla chips, grated cheese, and a dollop of sour cream.

Pasta Primavera

Tim and I went a little nuts and bought into one of those "buy ten boxes of pasta for $10" deals at the grocery store. Needless to say, we've been eating a lot of pasta. I get tired of tomato sauce, so this is what I came up with last night.

Pasta Primavera, y'all!

• Farfalle (Bowtie Pasta)
• 1 large chicken breast, cubed
• 1 carrot, peeled and sliced
• 1 yellow squash, sliced
• ½ Onion, sliced thin
• 1 bell pepper (yellow or red), sliced
• 2 cloves garlic, crushed
• 3 Tbsp olive Oil
• Herbs de Provence (any Italian herb are good; Rosemary, Oregano, etc.)
• Salt
• Pepper
• 1 bunch fresh basil, chopped
• 1 cup white wine and 1 cup chicken broth (2 cups chicken broth may be substituted)
• Optional: 1 pint cherry tomatoes, halved

Set a large pot of water to boil. Add pasta when ready.

Meanwhile, in a dutch oven or wok warm olive oil over med-high heat. Add cubed chicken and all herbs and spiced EXCEPT fresh basil. Sauté until the chicken is opaque on all sides.

Add all vegetables EXCEPT garlic and sauté for 7-8 minutes or until veggies start to soften. Add garlic and basil and sauté two more minutes. Add wine, or if not using, 1 cup broth.  Simmer veggies in broth for 3-4 minutes, then add second cup of broth. When pasta is ready, drain and stir into vegetable mix, tossing to coat all pasta with sauce. 

If using tomatoes, add with the pasta.

Serve with Parmesan cheese.

Frittata Yo' Mama

I have a smoothie for breakfast almost every day and am usually not bored by it, but I also love fancy breakfast food. Like, I will drink Hollandaise sauce if you let me. On Saturdays, the only day that both Tim and I have off now, I like to make something different. My cast iron skillet ruins scrambled eggs for some reason (I guess it's not seasoned well enough yet?), but it bakes like a dream. Hence: I concocted this delicious frittata this morning.


Tomato and Chèvre Frittata

• 2 tbsp butter or olive oil
• 1/2 cup diced onion
• 1/2 cup cherry tomatoes, quartered
• 3/4 cup spinach diced
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 8 eggs
• 1/3 cup heavy cream or whole milk (cream is way better)
• 1/2 tsp dried basil or a few sprigs fresh, minced
• Salt
• Pepper
• 2 tbsp fresh goat cheese (Chèvre)

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.

Scramble eggs, cream, basil, salt, and pepper in a bowl. Set aside.

In a non-stick, oven-safe skillet (cast iron is best) heat oil or butter over medium high heat. Add onions and sauté until translucent. Add tomatoes, spinach, garlic and a pinch of salt. Sauté for about 2 minutes. Spinach will wilt significantly, but you don't want it to become totally mushy. Remove from heat.

Pour eggs into skillet. Crumble/dot top of egg mixture with chunks of chèvre (feel free to use more, or use a different variety of cheese as your fancy takes you).

Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. Frittata will be puffy when you remove it from the oven and will settle as it rests. Serve hot!

(This would also be delicious with sautéed mushrooms!)

Sorry there are no pictures. We ate it so fast. Even Tim devoured every single tomato, onion and scrap of spinach.

Bacon Broccoli Macaroni and Cheese

Yes--I know it's been over a month since I've written. In a very literal sense, my computer and I have not been on speaking terms. The day after Tim and I got back from Texas my hard drive wiped itself out with maniacal efficiency, taking with it all my wedding plans (including my current guest list), my novel*, and all of my organized and edited pictured of Peru. If you never got to see my slideshow of Peru pictures, well, you never will. If you got a save-the-date but for some reason don't get a wedding invitation... please don't feel bad, it's only because my computer saw fit to erase you... you're still invited.

Anyway.

I've been burying my hard drive recovery woes in comfort food.  Last night I made this ridiculously delicious meal.  All of the measurements are guesstimates because I just sort of make these things up. We'll see.

Bacon and Broccoli Mac and Cheese

1 box penne pasta (1lb)
2 small or 1 large head of broccoli, chopped (makes about three cups--use the stems too)
1/2 lb bacon, diced small
1 lg white or yellow onion, diced
2 tsp butter**
1/3 cup flour
2 1/2 cups milk
3 cups grated cheese (I used queso cheese and colby jack, but a sharp cheddar would be good. Really whatever.)
1 tbsp paprika
1 tbsp Worcestershire Sauce
salt and lots-of-pepper

Bring a lage pot of salted water to a boil for the pasta, and cook pasta one minute less than suggested cooking time.

Pre-heat oven to 375 degrees.

Meanwhile, prepare the sauce in a second large pot or dutch oven. Over medium-high heat, cook bacon, stirring frequently, for about five minutes. Add in diced onion and a dash of salt and cook for another five minutes, stirring occasionally, until onions are semi-translucent. Add in broccoli and two tablespoons butter and cook for another one or two minutes, tossing so that broccoli is covered with the greases from the pan. (**If your bacon is really greasy you will not need the butter.)

Sprinkle flour over the contents of the pan and toss to coat evenly. You want to be sure that the flour and the grease are mixed together and coat everything evenly.  Cook for another 2 minutes or so.

Slowly pour in milk while stirring and scraping the brown wonderful bits from the bottom of the pan. Bring to a simmer.

Add in cheese (reserving 1/2 cup), Paprika, Worcestershire Sauce, and salt and pepper. Stir until cheese is melted and sauce is smooth. Taste to make sure the seasoning is right.

Drain cooked pasta and fold into cheese/broccoli/bacon sauce.

Transfer mixture to baking dish or leave in dutch oven and top with remaining cheese (or just more cheese, if that floats your boat) and bake at 375 for 20 minutes.

Try it with Sriracha sauce on top. To die for.

*I have a word document of the novel, but my Scrivner file, which contains all my billions of notes, research, and unwritten chapters (don't ask how something can contain something that's unwritten) is lost for now. "I'm not sure the novel is really good enough to start over on," says the quitter. UGH. Ask me in a week.

Fish Tacos and Pineapple Salsa

Considering how delicious the fish tacos we had the other day were, I thought I'd post the recipe.  The pineapple salsa was what really put them through the roof.

Fun fact: every time I type the word "pineapple" it comes out "pineable."

Pineapple Salsa:

• 1 pineapple, trimmed and diced
• 1 shallot, minced
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• juice of two limes
• 1/2 cup chopped fresh cilantro
• 1/2 tsp sea salt
• 1/2 tsp chipotle chili powder (the best part)

Toss all ingredients together in a bowl. Let it sit for at least one hour in the fridge before use to allow the flavors to meld together. Taste and adjust seasoning (or add more shallots) to your preferences. The chipotle flavor will really come out amazingly in the pineapple after a short time.

This salsa recipe makes much more than you will need and can easily be halved

Fish Tacos:

Ingredients for the Fish (makes enough to feed two, adapted from a Clean recipe):

• 1 lb skinless bass, halibut, or trout, cut into cubes
• 1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
• Dash of sea salt
• Juice of 1/2 lime
• 1 cup plain almond milk, or enough to cover

Place the fish in a bowl and mix with the other ingredients. It should be just submerged. Cover and refrigerate for 1-3 hours. When ready to cook, preheat oven to 300 degrees and place tortillas on a baking sheet. When oven is hot, place tortillas in oven to keep them warm until ready to use.

Meanwhile, heat 1-2 tbsp olive oil (I used coconut oil) in a frying pan or wok. Remove fish from marinade and cook until just browned, about 5 minutes. (If the fish doesn't brown because there is too much marinade in the pan, don't overcook it trying to brown it, it will still taste great!)

Build tacos with tortillas, fish, pineapple salsa, and sliced avocado. Enjoy!

In case you're interested, for the Clean program, we used sprouted corn tortillas (which are ok because once it sprouts it's a vegetable... I think) but you could also use brown rice tortillas. And beware: the salsa is juicy! It will run down your arms, but it's so good it doesn't really matter.

Raspberry Mint Chocolate Smoothie

I like to have smoothies for breakfast in the morning but am lazy and usually just make some combination of frozen fruit/yogurt/juice/banana. Monday I whipped this up as an alternative and, as my colorful grandfather would say, I'm as pleased as a pig in shit with myself. All of the ingredients are pretty good for you (even the cocoa--don't try to tell me otherwise, I will Google fight you into the ground) and I feel not a shred of remorse for having had three of these this week.

Macca approves.
Except I was probably supposed to take the picture
before I inhaled the smoothie.

Raspberry Mint Chocolate Smoothie

In blender add:

1 cup frozen raspberries

3-4 sprigs of fresh mint leaves with the stems discarded

1 tbsp dutch process cocoa

1 tsp agave or honey

1 cup chocolate almond milk (or enough to just cover the other ingredients in the blender)

Blend all this together on low, then switch to medium for ten seconds or so. Enjoy!

Also, Happy Friday!

Orange Ginger Cranberry Sauce

Is it a little excessive to make an entire Thanksgiving dinner for just two people? Probably.

Well, actually, yes.  Because there's no way on earth we can eat an entire ten pound turkey. But no one can stop us from trying because this is America.

Anyway. I am ECSTATIC to be back around my sharp knives and cutting board and shiny red mixer and millions of beautiful hand-me-down pots and pans and I have already started the madness.  Yesterday I made fudge.  Today I made the brine for the turkey (I used the recipe from PW). A pumpkin pie is currently in the oven. And I invented my own cranberry sauce recipe because I couldn't find exactly what I wanted online. All cranberry sauces are basically really simple, but this one turned out pretty damn good if I do say so myself.

Orange Ginger Cranberry Sauce

1 bag fresh cranberries
Zest and juice of 2 large oranges (separate)
3 tablespoons grated fresh ginger
1 tsp olive oil
1/2 cup sugar
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup honey
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp ground cloves

Wash cranberries and inspect for stems and squishy berries. Discard anything icky.

In a large sauce pan, briefly heat olive oil over medium heat. Add ginger and orange zest and cook until they begin to sizzle.  You don't want them to heat too dramatically or start to change color at all, just to get nice and hot.

When ginger and zest are hot, add the juice of two oranges and stir in the sugar, brown sugar and honey. Allow to dissolve slightly.

Add cranberries and bring to a boil over medium-high heat.  When the mixture boils reduce heat to medium and continue to stir it until the cranberries start to pop and become soft.

Add cinnamon and cloves. Simmer for five minutes or until the sauce thickens, stirring occasionally. Give it a taste and make sure it's not too tart; add sugar or spices as necessary.

Allow to cool completely. I dare you not to eat this on a turkey sandwich. I dare you.

Zombie Spaceship Wasteland Ballet Cupcakes

I'm stuck at home for the second day in a row with a migraine. Yesterday it was so bad that I spent a large part of the day just laying on the floor. There should be a second clause in that sentence, like, "laying on the floor... reading a book" or "laying on the floor... thinking of recipes." But what no one tells you is that above all, maybe even more than being wretchedly painful, migraines are unbelievably boring. The pain keeps you from doing anything: reading (no concentration), watching TV (too bright and loud), eating (too nauseated), even sleeping, SLEEPING! all of those things are out of the question.

Today is a little bit better--obviously, I'm blogging--but there are still a lot of other things I'd rather be doing. I would actually rather be at work right now than spending another minute laying on the floor with a pillow over my head. Oh, there it is, I found my other clause! "...With a pillow over my head."

Anyway: I got on here to write a couple of book reviews, and I think, for the first time ever, a movie review! I can't promise that the products of my fever-adled brain will be worth reading, but I have to do something besides stare at the insides of my eyelids.

Zombie Spaceship Wasteland

By Patton Oswalt

It makes me sad that most people only know Patton Oswalt as the voice of Remy from Ratatouille or that second-string character from King of Queens (yeah, that). He deserves more recognition if not just because he's disgustingly, crushingly funny, and might be the only person in L.A. who is a genuinely nice person, then because he also speaks to the inner core of my nerd soul. I don't want to say that this book is for book-nerds and sci-fi dorks and people who are still teenagers inside--but I have no real proof that it's not. Its best chapters are the ones that firmly grip this demographic and don't let go.  He mentions Richard Brautigan on the first page. He has a transcendent experience while reading The Man in the High Castle and listening to R.E.M. He asks, which are you? A Zombie, a Spaceship, or a Wasteland? If you don't already have some tiny idea or are not the least bit curious this is probably not the book for you.

In case you wondered, I'm a wasteland. I chose to live in a town with 300 people (can I go back?) and my favorite types of books and movies are ones like The Stand and Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome where there are no people and we just start over.

I would recommend this book to: Kacie, and fans of Harlan Ellison.

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children

By Ransom Riggs

By all means, judge this book by its cover.  If ever a book made a case for the existence of a physical book as an artifact, this one does.  The hard cover edition of this book is beautiful, and it is filled with beautiful black and white photos that are an essential part of the story.

Many contemporary novels are carried away by detailed descriptions of characters without a lot of plot--which has its time and place but can be tiring.  It seems like you've got to go to the YA section to find a novel that has both.  Harry Potter, The Hunger Games... if an "adult" novel has a plot, it gets filed under "genre fiction." But that is neither here nor there. This book has both interesting--though maybe not the deepest--characters and a swift-moving plot. The writing style won't necessarily win any awards, but what it lacks in poetry, it makes up in being entertaining and full-bodied. The author creates a rich and believable alternate world that you just fall into. It's a satisfying book.

I would recommend this book to: Jessica R. and definitely, definitely Amber, and you'll know why once you read it.

The Red Shoes (1948)

Dir. Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger

I hadn't heard of this film until about three weeks ago, when it just started popping up everywhere. It was mentioned in two books I read, on a film app I have and on a website I'm into. Fate.

Have you ever been to a real ballet? I haven't been since I saw The Nutcracker when I was about ten. Did you see Black Swan? Of course you did, that shit was crazy.

This film is an obvious precursor to Black Swan--not just because of the ballet but because of its strange psychological tension--but unlike Black Swan it does a better job of balancing darkness and light. It clearly influenced other films like Singin' in the Rain as well, and whereas the long dance scene in Singin' in the Rain is tedious and awful (I said it), the long ballet sequence in this film is exquisite.  I'm not particularly into old films--my attention span is short and I think they laugh at stupid things--but I can understand why this film has been called the best dance movie of all time. I'm not sure I'm prepared to call it that (Flashdance? Anyone? Crickets? Just kidding.), but I'm definitely prepared to recommend this.

Thanks, Einstein.

You might notice a trend. I like to broil things on top of other things.

This morning I made an open face turkey and tomato sandwich that I copied from Einstein Bros. I have no idea where the nearest Einstein Bros. is so this will have to do, and anyway I kind of like mine better because I can control all the variables (except that no one sells salt bagels in DC, which is a detriment to the entire region).

This is a pretty glorious breakfast if you remember three important things I learned the hard way:

1. Buffer. There MUST be a solid buffer in between the tomato and the bread! If you don't like turkey, fine (why?) but find something else (smoked salmon? More cheese?) or this is reduced to a soggy mess.

2. Burning. Watch anything you put in the broiler. I left my first attempt unattended the other day and had to eat a soggy... and yet also burned, somewhat smokey open-faced mess in the dark on the floor the other day. I guess I didn't have to eat it in the dark on the floor, but I was late for work and that was the kind of morning I was having.

3. Seasoned salt. Don't leave this out. The people at Einstein Bros. sometimes forget this and it's just a travesty.

Here's the low down:

1 Bagel or English Muffin (per person)
Mayonnaise (optional)
2 slices of deli turkey
Thinly sliced tomato
Cheddar Cheese
Seasoned Salt in whatever variety you like (Cavender's Greek would be good on this)

Preheat the Broiler and make sure your oven is in the second or third from the top position (close-but-not-too-close)

Slice open your bagel or English muffin. The proper way to open an English muffin is to pierce the sides with a fork, inserted horizontally all the way around the edges. It will just fall open. Did you know that? Anyway.

Spread mayo on your bread-product if that floats your boat.

Layer the meat (buffer), tomato, and cheese in that order on to the bread on a baking sheet and insert it into the oven. Keep an eye on it! In about 3-4 minutes it will be melty and bubbly. Remove from oven and sprinkle generously with seasoned salt.

This is so delicious. Watch for falling tomato goo.

This tomato is currently growing on my patio, in the same box with my oregano and lavender. I can't wait to eviscerate it and turn it into a delicious open face sandwich.

Macaroni and Cheese 4-Ever

Some darling friends come over the other day to play through the entire Beatles Rockband catalog with me, and in order to build up our strength for that herculean task we ate (besides a heaping bowl of guacamole*) a ridiculous amount of homemade macaroni and cheese. I love homemade macaroni and cheese and it's easy to make, so I thought I'd share the recipe. I modified Pioneer Woman's recipe, which is unique in that she uses and egg to bind the sauce. I totally understand if you just go over there and read hers... I mean, she has pictures. However...

...Mine differs from hers mainly in the seasonings, the addition of cream, and the strange mixture of cheeses, which is a result of my cheese whims. Cheese whims: it's a real thing. Let your cheese whims be your guide. You can use whatever you want but be mindful of texture. I wouldn't use a pound of brie or a pound of goat cheese for this.

I'm not trying to compete (Never!). Just stating the facts, ma'am.

Macaroni and Cheese!

Here are my ingredients:

4 cups dry pasta shells
1 egg, beaten
1/4 cup butter
1/4 cup flour
2 1/4 cup milk
1/4 cup cream
1/2 tsp dry mustard
1 tsp paprika
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp ground black pepper
1/2 tsp garlic powder

(These are all approximate--I always go nuts at the end and decide I need more. More! MORE!)
1/2 pound New York Cheddar, grated
1/4 pound Muenster, grated
1/4 pound Parmesan, grated

My instructions owe everything to P-dubs:

You will need two large pots and a large baking dish for this recipe. If you only have one large pot, begin by boiling the pasta until it is firm, about 5-6 minutes. Drain the pasta and set it aside while you prepare the sauce. If you have two, can can boil the pasta while you are preparing the sauce.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter or grease a large baking dish.

Beat the egg in a separate, heat-proof bowl.

In a large pot, melt the butter over medium-low heat. Whisk in the flour and continue cooking for about 5 minutes, whisking constantly.

Add the milk and cream and continue to cook until the sauce thickens, about 8-10 minutes.

To temper the egg, slowly pour about 1/2 cup of the sauce into the beaten egg while whisking it. (This raises the temperature of the egg without cooking it and forming clots.) Whisk until smooth, then stir the egg/sauce mixture into the pot.

Reserving 1/2 cup cheese for topping, add your grated cheeses to the pot. Over low heat, stir until cheeses are melted and smooth. Add mustard, paprika, salt, pepper, and garlic. Taste the sauce! Adjust seasoning accordingly.

Remove from heat and fold drained pasta into sauce. Pour into baking dish and top with remaining cheese. You can eat it this way or bake it, 20-25 minutes, until bubbly. Eat, eat, eat.


*I changed my Guacamole recipe! Not earth shattering news for you, probably, but a big deal for me. No more jalapeno, cayenne, or paprika, more tomato, and... cilantro. It's better now. The whole world is better.

Cheese me.

Breakfast. Bane of my life.

No seriously.

There are two morning scenarios in my life.

A. Work Days: I wake up cranky and knowing I have like, responsibilities and stuff. I have just enough time to either eat real food or shower. For the good of humanity I shower, which means eating what I consider non-acceptable foods: cereal, granola bars, toast. I know lots and lots of people LOOOVE cereal, but I find it utterly disgusting unless it's midnight and the milk is ice, ice cold.

B. Home days: I'm responsible for my own behavior, usually getting a lot of "reading" and "writing" done. I fight an epic battle with my alarm clock. I want to eat a million of everything. I don't have time to make eggs benedict. I can either eat non-acceptable foods and move on to doing homework like I'm supposed to, or I can cook a huge, amazing breakfast-for-one that's not ready until noon and starts me on a downward spiral of distraction and procrastination that lasts all day. Those days are full of guilt, but they taste soooooo much better.

Today I'm somewhere in between and I made such a warm, savory, flavorful breakfast that I have to share it with you. None of my recipes ever fall into a logical category. Is this an open-faced sandwich? Is it some kind of weird, sauce-less pizza bagel? I have no idea. All I know is that I want to eat a hundred more of them. And I like when there's white wine in my breakfast.

This looks like a lot of time and steps, but it's really not.

Ingredients:
1 Bagel (I used poppy seed, 'cause I wanna)
2 tbsp butter
2 tbsp Parmesan cheese
1/2 cup grated mozzarella
garlic powder
dried parsley
basil
oregano

3-4 White mushrooms, cleaned and sliced
salt
black pepper
2 tbsp white wine

Destructions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees and move the top rack up the second-highest position in the oven.

Butter both halves of your sliced bagel and place them (butter-side up, friend) on a cookie sheet. VERY lightly sprinkle with garlic salt. Sprinkle each half with 1 tablespoon of Parmesan cheese, followed by 1/4 cup each of the mozzarella. Now sprinkle lightly and evenly with your herbs: basil, oregano, and parsley. I like to grind them up in my hands a little bit so they're not so "intrusive." And it brings out the scent and flavor.

At this point you could proceed to the oven step but the mushrooms are the best part, so DON'T!

In a small pan (preferably a crepe pan, how fancy), melt the remaining butter (about 1 or 1 1/2 tbsp) over medium high heat. Add the mushrooms in a single layer and sprinkle with salt and pepper. When the mushrooms are starting to brown, give them a stir. After about 2 minutes on each side, hold the pan away from the heat and add your white wine (red wine is fine too), return to eat. Stir this around to deglaze the pan.

When most of the liquid has cooked away, turn off the heat and place the mushrooms evenly over the tops of your bagels.

Bake for 4-5 minutes. Then crank on the broiler and let it go until the cheese looks melty (not longer than a minute or two).

You don't want this in the oven very long! The bagel will dry out and everything will get hard and gross!

Take it out of the oven. Eat it in 4 bites.

So amazingly yummy. I wish that my homework was to find new ways to consume dairy products, because obviously I'm a pro.

Feel-Better Greek Soup

Tim feels like crap today so I made this modified Greek soup which has a little bit of everything a sick person needs. And it's really satisfying and filling.

Greek Lemon and Orzo Soup with Spinach

1 boneless, skinless chicken breast
1/4 cup finely chopped onion
3 cloves chopped garlic
4 cups chicken stock
2 cups water
1/2 cup orzo
3/8 cups fresh lemon juice (1 and 1/2 lemons, juiced)
3 eggs
1/2 cup fresh spinach, cut into thin ribbons
parsley
black pepper
salt
olive oil

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Coat chicken breast with olive oil and sprinkle with salt, pepper and ground or chopped parsley. Bake chicken for 25 minutes (this gets rid of some of the fat and gives it a better texture in the soup).

While chicken is baking, heat 2 tbsp olive oil over medium heat in a large soup pot. Add chopped onion and let cook for 2-3 minutes, then add chopped garlic and 1 tsp salt. Cook for another 2-3 minutes.

Add chicken stock and water to the soup pot and bring to a low boil over medium-high heat. Add 1 tsp ground parsley. Add the orzo when there is about 10 minutes left of cooking time on the chicken.

When the chicken is ready, remove it from the oven and cut it into bite size pieces. Add it to the pot.

In a bowl beat together the lemon juice and the three eggs. Take 3/4 cup of the hot broth out of the pot and slowly drizzle it into the lemon/egg mixture while beating it swiftly (this tempers the eggs). Then stir this mixture into the soup. Continue cooking and stirring until the soup has thickened slightly. Stir in fresh spinach.

Add salt and pepper to taste. Feel better soon!

When Harry Met Sally Met Chicken

Do you remember that part in "When Harry Met Sally" where they both say "Chicken Paprikash" over and over again and it's really funny? What about the part where they're playing Pictionary and the clue is "baby's breath" and the fat guy keeps guessing "baby fish mouth?"

hahahahahahahah

I love that part. It has nothing to do with anything, but I love it anyway.

So I made Chicken Paprikash for dinner the other night, and I figured that since it was both easy and delicious, you might want to try it too. This recipe is modified to serve two people.

1/4 cup butter
1/2 white or yellow onion, diced
3 heaping teaspoons paprika
salt
pepper
4 chicken legs or 2 large boneless chicken breasts, cut up
3/4 to 1 cup chicken stock
3/4 cup sour cream
1 tbsp flour

Egg noodles, rice, mashed potatoes, or potato dumplings to serve underneath the Paprikash.

In a large pot or frying pan, melt the butter on medium low heat and stir in the onions. Saute the onions approximately ten minutes or until quite soft and translucent. Add paprika, a dash of salt and a few dashes of black pepper (don't over do it). At this point, add your chicken. It will need to cook a different length of time depending on the cut. For legs, cook at least 5-6 minutes on each side, for cut up pieces, cook for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

If you have chosen to use legs, remove them to a plate and slowly mix in the chicken broth, making sure to gently scrape any delicious bits from the bottom/sides of the pan (AKA, deglaze the pan). Return the legs to the pan. If you using boneless chicken, this processes can be done, slightly less gracefully, with the chicken still in the pan.

Cover and cook for ten more minutes over medium heat. If it looks as though your sauce is boiling away, feel free to add a little more water/broth or turn down the heat a little. It shouldn't be boiling too hard. Mix flour into the sour cream. After ten minutes, add the sour cream mixture into the sauce and make sure it is stirred well and all the chicken is coated (you can remove the legs again if you wish).

Serve over egg noodles, rice, mashed potatoes, or potato dumplings.

MeatandCheese-Only said, "this is zesty!" and also cleaned his plate, which is two thumbs up, I believe.

Cucumbers Another Way

I have a migraine today. That usually means spending the day in a cocoon of pillows and darkness, sleeping it off, but I can't sleep. So instead I'm trying to find something that will hold my attention without making me feel like I'm going to explode (so no reading or TV or really anything with color light or sound). Maybe blogging will work?

So here is a recipe for you.

This is a new take on my favorite simple side dish. This would be a great alternative to more traditional heavy side dishes that tend to get served with Mexican food. It's not even really a recipe, just something I got out of a book about migrant farm workers and then modified.

"Alejo thought of his own grandmother working in Edinburg, Texas, ironing, babysitting, cleaning houses, cutting cucumbers with lemon, salt, and powdered chile to sell at swap meets, or making tamarind and hibiscus juices to sell after Sunday mass. She would do anything to allow her grandson to get schooling." -Helena Maria Viramontes, Under the Feet of Jesus

Calling this something like "Zesty Cucumber Salad" seems really bourgious, since this seems like something people just eat. The way a baked potato is just a baked potato--but I don't know what else to call it. Anyway, here's how I prepared it.

Cucumbers Another Way

1 Cucumber
1 Lime (the book says lemon, but I like lime and that's what I had)
salt
Chili powder

Peel cucumber however you like. I prefer to leave "stripes" in the peel for texture and vitamins. Slice as thinly as you like. I make 1/4" slices and then cut the largest slices in half.

Juice the lime. A citrus juicer is the best for this of course, but if you don't have one, here's a trick to handling stiff, stubborn fruit--microwave the lime for ten seconds, then roll it on your counter, pressing gently to loosen all the membranes inside. After you cut it in half, you can use the back of a spoon to help you get all of the juices out.

Pour lime juice over the cucumber in a bowl. Season with salt and chili powder to taste. This is according to your preference so start light and build up.

Let it chill for at least 20 minutes before you eat and you'll be glad.

Unlike a vinegar salad, this can be refrigerated over night and the cukes won't wilt dramatically.

You could probably put this in a glass, muddle with vodka and ice, and make a delicious cocktail. If you didn't have a migraine.

Tuna P. Wiggle

I'm writing a paper right now, but I had to stop and talk about something here.

No body ever eats sauce on toast anymore. No, no wait. Hear me out. When I was kid, I feel like people ate Welsh Rarebit and chipped beef all the time and nobody batted an eye. Maybe it was reaganomics. Everyone for whom the money wasn't "trickling down" was like, "well, I have sauce. I have toast. This works." And now celebrity chefs are all, "rrrrmmm, there aren't enough complicated steps in that. Can I used braised brioche loaf and a bechamel with leeks?"

Obviously, I like fancy cooking too. Last night I made a New York strip with creamy goat cheese polenta and rosemary grilled zucchini (and Tim ate the zucchini! Yes, I'm bragging.). But sometimes you just have to eat sauce on toast, damnit.

I "remember" this recipe from when I was a little kid, sitting around at my Grandma Karen's house in the 80's while all my aunts and uncles, who were still in high school, ran around and did their thing on a Saturday afternoon. I can tell this an amalgamation of memories, because they weren't all in high school throughout the duration of the 80's and not every day was a sunny Saturday--but I did spend a lot of time at that table in the house on Tenino eating delicious things.

No one ever told me how to make this, so I could be totally off base, but this is what my memory tastes like because I've been making it for myself this way for years.

This is comfort food. This is fast and easy and probably not very nutritious and I doubt anyone would ever, ever in their right mind serve it at a dinner party, but I love it.

Tune P. Wiggle (the "P." stands for "pea")

Ingredients:
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1/3 cup milk
1 can tuna drained
1 half cup frozen peas
salt
pepper
bread to make toast, preferable *good* white bread like potato bread or english muffin bread. Not that wonder bread crap.

For the ambitious:
1/4 to 1/2 cup shredded colby or chedder cheese.
dash garlic salt
2-3 diced white mushrooms

Destructions:
In a small sauce pan combine soup, milk, tuna and peas. Over medium heat, stir together well and then add a generous amount of pepper; salt to taste. If you're adding mushrooms and garlic, add them at this stage. If you're adding cheese, wait until sauce is smooth and bubbly, stir it in and reduce heat to very low.

Cook sauce about five minutes after it bubbles to let everything meld together and the peas heat through.

Toast the bread to your liking. I usually have two slices of toast. Please for the love of God don't be tempted to butter the toast before putting sauce on it. This is coming from me--the Butter Idiot. Doing so will make you want to roll on the floor in a gluttonous semi-coma.

Test the sauce to make sure it's got enough seasoning, cheese, what have you, before putting it on your warm toasty bread. Then spoon a generous amount onto each slice of toast and eat with a fork.

This recipe serves about three people, or just me if I'm being ridiculous.

There's just something about eating what your family eats. My grandma's no slouch. She can make some amazing from-scratch meals that would knock Giada de Lauretiis off her butt, but this one just happens to come out of cans and I like it.

Knee Slappin' Good Chili

I promised my friend Lorena from Panama that I would send her my Chili recipe over a month ago and I still haven't done it (naughty!) so I'll post it here for any and all. This is a quick chili, rather than a crock-pot chili.

Fun fact: at the grocery store when I say "what should we have for dinner this week?" Tim almost always replies either, "Chili" or "Tacos."

Main Ingredients:
1 lb Ground beef or Turkey
1 bottle Beer (preferably light beer, I usually use Corona)
2 16oz cans Plain Tomato Sauce
1 10-16oz can Diced Tomatoes (you can use plain or RoTel)
1 can red kidney beans, drained and rinsed
1 can pinto or chili beans, drained
1/2 Onion, diced
2 Cloves Garlic, chopped fine
Any kind of diced peppers you like
3-4 Carrots, grated finely (the not-so-secret ingredient)

Spices, in order of quantity:
Cayenne Pepper
Paprika
Cumin
Salt
Garlic Powder (yes, more Garlic)
Cinnamon

Toppings:
Shredded Cheese
Sour Cream
Diced Fresh Tomatoes
Saltines or Fritos
Onions (blech, why?)

In a large deep pot, begin to brown the meat over medium high heat. If the meat is very lean (like Turkey) you will need to add a little olive oil to the bottom of the pot to keep it from sticking. Once the meat begins to cook and break up a bit, add the onions and peppers and let the onions get a little translucent, cooking about 3-4 minutes.

At this point I usually add the first round of seasonings. I don't measure these but I would estimate that it's a about 1/2 a teaspoon of each seasoning except for the cinnamon, which is just two dashes. Mix this in and then add about half of your bottle of beer. Let the meat cook in the beer, stirring occasionally, until the beer has cooked off almost all the way, then add the carrots, garlic, and the rest of the beer (assuming you didn't drink it--if you did, well then I guess you need to open another one).

Cook this down a bit, 5 minutes or so.

From here, everything is fairly easy. Add both cans of tomato sauce and the diced tomatoes, as well as the beans. Rinse the tomato cans with a bit of water and put the tomato-y water in the pot. If you forget this step, that's fine, but it helps get all the tomato-goodness out of the cans, and you'll need to add about a cup or so of water to the pot.

At this point, I attack the chili with seasonings again to taste. Be careful because you can always add, but you cannot take out. Start with a few dashes of each and taste it to see what you like. We like a LOT of cumin, and I don't add oregano or black pepper at all. But some folks are the other way around. Obviously though, if you don't have at least some variety of chili powder (cayenne and paprika in this case), you should throw in the towel.

Bring the chili to a low bubble over medium or medium-low heat, trying not to let it boil crazily. After 20 minutes it will be hearty and ready to top with whatever floats your boat.

On the next day, I put the leftovers over pasta with shredded cheddar. Which should be illegal, but no one is stopping me.

Panama Breakfast

I think the official name for this recipe would have to be something like, "Arepas con queso y frijoles negros." But Tim and I just call them "arepas" in the way that you would call pancakes "pancakes" no matter what you put on them.

There are 2 disclaimers for this recipe:

1. I made it up. It's not based on anything Panamanians eat. In fact, I fed it to Panamanians and they were like, "this is weird, but good; who taught you this?"
2. Arepas are thick Colombian tortillas, which are available in grocery stores here and hopefully, hopefully, hopefully can be found back home too. If not, there are a number of homemade-arepa recipes online, but that sort of defeats the purpose of how convenient this recipe is for breakfast.

This is going to be a Pioneer Woman-style post, but probably without her heaps of charm.

Here's what you need. Chili powder, Oaxaca cheese, black beans, arepas, a lime, garlic cloves, and butter, salt and cumin, which are not pictured.

Get the black beans cooking first. They don't take long to heat up, but the longer they sit, they better they taste. Smash about three cloves of garlic and peel the skin off, but don't dice them up. This imparts the flavor into the beans without overpowering everything. This is breakfast we're talking about here.

Dump the can of beans, liquid and all, into a small pot and add a dash each of cumin, paprika, chili powder and salt, as well as the smashed garlic. Set this to cook over medium low heat. These also make a good side dish, or a good taco-topping, or they go really well over rice. To quote PDubs, "the possibilities are endless!"

Anyway.

While the beans are cooking, slice enough cheese for however many arepas you are making. This should be enough to coat each one in a single layer. A vegetable peeler is perfect for this job because it allows you to slice the cheese thinly and uniformly. You really don't want thick or grated cheese for this.

BTW: you should be able to find Oaxaca cheese, which is a very mild white cheese, in your grocery store. If you can't, block (as opposed to "fresh") mozzarella is similar.

Once you have enough cheese, heat your non-stick skillet (or wok, in my case), to medium and throw in The Magic Maker, er, a tablespoon of butter. While that melts, microwave the arepa for 30 seconds. This is key for softening it up a little.

Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum.

Fry the arepa briefly on both sides, adding more butter to the skillet if necessary (you know it's always necessary).
When the arepa is done, flip it onto the serving plate hot-side-up. This helps the cheese get nice and melty-tastic. Lay the cheese in a single layer over the entire surface of the hot arepa.

By this point the beans should be delicious and bubbly. Using a slotted spoon, or draining the liquid against the side of the pan, spoon the beans over the top of the cheese. Here is where the joy and the mystery collide and things start to melt together in a perfect marriage of "amazing."

Too much? Sorry.

But wait! It's not done without the secret ingredients. Squeeze a fresh lime over the top, being sensitive to the citrus addictions or aversions of your guests. I'm a half-a-lime kind of a girl, but Tim prefers the "distant acquaintances" lime/arepa relationship.

THEN--and don't forget this! Sprinkle cayenne pepper over the top, and salt over the top of that. The chili and salt bring out the lime in an amazing way, and the texture of the cheese and the beans on top of the crispy arepa is unexpectedly satisfying. Mmmmmm.

It doesn't look like much, but this is so flavorful. And melty.

And gone.