This Ship Has More Pirates than Sails

I'm beginning to think that the meaning of life for Human Beings is answering the question "what next?" Or "what now?" Or "What's for lunch?" Or any number of other questions, the general gist of which are "what's the next move I will make in my day/year/life?"

This semester has been so overwhelmingly busy already. This only happens when a) I actually really enjoy the reading assignments from my classes [good] and b) people who are supposed to do simple but meaningful things for the newspaper don't do them [bad]. None of that would be a problem if apathy was one of my stronger skills. Alas it is not, which, greekly speaking means that "pathy" is my curse. Complain, complain.

Actually, I said all that so I could get to a point and I suppose I ought to get there before I forget. I'm excited about 3 (probably more, but definately at least 3) things.

1.) In the past couple of weeks I decided that I'm not going to apply for grad school this semester. The reasoning behind this is solid: I have no idea what I would go for, and unlike undergrad, you can't just check the box after you get there. I don't know where I want to go. I am convinced that the GRE is the absolute antithesis of everything I learned in college about thinking critically. And I'm not excited about it. I'm just not. Well, I wasn't until about three days ago when I figured out what I (think) I want to go for. I would DIE to be able to study Gender for the rest of my life.

Dad, remember when you told everyone you wished I was a lesbian when I was a teenager. Well, I'm still not, sorry. Not even a little bit. Well, maybe a little on Wednesdays. But I do like to study Lesbians and minorities and men and history and society.

And here's the key: GENDER IS THE CONTEXT IN WHICH I THINK ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE. ALL THE TIME. It's liberating really. Now if only I could find a school that offers Ph.Ds in Gender and not just Women's Studies, and YES, they are very different when you get your hands in the dirt.

2. I'm excited that Tim is Tim. Why? Because never in my life have I NOT been selfish. That is to say, I go where I want to go, when I want to go there, because I can. I love my parents more than sleep (which is major), but I never stayed one place or another just to make them happy. I couldn't. But I've decided that (within reason, sorry, I can't live in Texas or Arkansas) I will go with Tim wherever he decides to go next year. Hopefully we can find a place where I can study Lesbigays (tee hee), er, what I want to study, and he can become the President of Everything. Because even if we're not together forever, I can't imagine not being around him. He's most certainly the best thing since oxygen. And if you saw the sexy nerd books he bought today at the book bazaar, you would understand.

3. I'm excited that Warren Jeffs finally got arrested. I don't think jail will help him, but I hope to God that the fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints (not to be confused with normal Mormons) gets a leader who isn't a pathological rapist.

As promised, I'm also excited about something else... Kacie and I have been going to lunch on Fridays (i.e. we did yesterday) and it's awesome to see her again. Screw summer and working all the time. I never thought I'd say that about summer. And I got my bride's maid dress for Kristin's wedding. Huzzah.