I LOVE MY NEW COMPUTER.
It's unholy. This is the computer I've wanted since I knew computers existed back when the only colors on our 5"x5" screen were orange and black and the only program I had was a Garfield greeting card maker.
I shouldn't brag because, well, people have computers. It's not like I gave birth to it myself. Also, if I'm rude about it God will take it away from me; I'll spill RC Cola on it, it will get beat up by gang members, a tank will run over it. You know, standard nerd disasters.
Perhaps it's sad that this is all I have to talk about.
Everyone else: "How are you, Roxie?"
Me: "I LOVE MATERIAL OBJECTS!!!"
Everyone else: "I remember when you were an actual human-being with a soul."
Me: "I LOVE MY SHINY MATERIAL OBJECTS!!!"
I also love pictures of kittens. I hope that's enough to save me.
Shit I forgot all about Garfield greeting card maker. That was so great. Jesus.
ReplyDelete-kacie
Forget RC cola. I've spilled water on my keyboard and lost two keyboards this way.
ReplyDeletePROTECT THE GOODS!
Do not think of it as stealing your soul. In fact, it is a way of projecting your soul farther than it could go before. and more often.
You have a great blog here! I haven't actually read it, but I'll take this opportunity to plug my "make money from home" fantasy that really is just a bunch of bs, or might be about prostitution, either way, it wastes your time- and- if you've read this far- makes you wonder if Alsn knows the jester dude at the ren faire (with the bells) is going to Japan next year in search of young women to "hug."
ReplyDelete