Top That

Well, I'm *this* much closer to feeling like a fully-employed person... as I have actually been into my office twice now and I have placed a box of kleenex on my desk, which means it's officially mine. I'm feeling frisky with employedness, which means it's time for some more underappreciated gems.

Welcome to Middle School 4Ever, Part One

Both of these movies are, objectively, quite bad. However, they got lots of play at sleepovers in middle school, which they earned because they're not just bad, they're awesomely bad.

Teen Witch
1989
Directed by Dorian Walker

The premise:
Louise and her best friend Polly are not very popular. But that doesn't stop Louise from crushing on the hottest boy in school, which--as we all know--can be hard on a girl.  Everything changes when Louise discovers--yes!--that she is the descendent of one of Salem's original witches, which comes with all the powers and responsibilities one might expect. Seriously, watch out for Louise.

Why I love it: First and foremost of all, the rapping. Also, the cheerleader locker room dance medley "I like boys". These alone are really enough to make this movie a must-see. However, there is also a stellar, and rather steamy, make-out scene. Basically, it's one of those girl movies that's so totally guileless and un-self-aware that you sort of can't help loving it, even if you were to hate it, which you won't.

Airborne
1993
Directed by Rob Bowman

The premise:
When Mitch, a bitchin' california surfer kid, is forced to move to Ohio (womp womp), he discovers that not only is he, like, cold, he's no longer popular. The kids in Ohio aren't into surfing (uhdoy) they're into hockey. Can Mitch use his totally rad rollerblade skills to get the better of them AND get the girl?

Why I love it: Jack Black and Seth Green. Witness, Seth Green as Wiley, sidekick and plucky comic relief. And young Jack Black as the brainless, hockey-playing bully. It's essentially the same premise as Teen Witch. Our hero is unpopular. The best friend is even more so. The love interest doesn't know they exist... yet. Why change a proven formula, people? Also witness: the most ultimate roller-blade race ever in movie history, and this dressing room montage. Tell me you wouldn't have loved this movie in middle school (and today).

Thanks to Trina and Emily for bringing both of these movies into my life when we were 13.