Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Stitches

Somewhere along the way I got the bright idea that instead of a guest book, we would ask our wedding guests to sign a quilt.

So for the past couple of months, Tim and I have been working together on this fabled wedding quilt. If you've ever made a quilt, you know it's rather time- and effort-intensive. Working on a quilt with a boy takes it to a whooooole new level. (Has it been scientifically proven that men and women see colors differently? It must have been.)

Working on a quilt with a cat? I deserve a nobel prize.  Mugi is incredibly helpful. Helpful in that he enjoys both burrowing under carefully laid-out fabric, attacking and attempting to eat sharp objects like pins and scissors, and sleeping on fabric that is currently being guided through the machine.

I have no idea if this signature-quilt idea will work out or not, but at this point I don't even care. This is clearly the most popular blanket I've ever made.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Books for the Church Social

Look! Reviews for books I read months ago!

The Barbarian Nurseries
By Héctor Tobar

Oh, Héctor Tobar, how I love you. I may have talked about this before, but Héctor Tobar is a columnist for the LA Times and as such, is down and dirty with his subject matter every day. When he writes about the Rodney King riots, for example, I'm inclined to believe him. There's a lot to be said for artistic license, but Tobar takes unfamiliar realities and makes them personal.

Case in point: The Barbarian Nurseries is about a young Mexican housemaid who is cast into a situation well beyond her ability to control. When both adult members of the Torres-Thompson household go missing, Araceli is left with the Torres-Thompson's two small children, no money or food, and no close family or friends to whom she turn. For another maid, this problem might be solved with a few quick phone calls, but Araceli is in the united states illegally.

The tension in this book is turned up to eleven. This is one of those want-to-scream-and-throw-the-book-at-the-wall type of novels. It's a little slow rolling in the beginning, but once the boulder falls off the cliff, so to speak, it's excellent up to the final word. Tobar's novels have a rather bald-faced agenda of making the reader think about things that are important in the world (the great latino diaspora in America is, of course, one of his main concerns), which some people don't like, and that's fine, but at very least he does it so well.

A Brain Wider Than the Sky
By Andrew Levy
(Audio Book)

A book about migraines. This book is part history, part science, and part memoir. As someone with migraines, each part is interesting or valuable in its own way, but mostly just for the feeling of solidarity it gives. From a personal point of view, there were times reading this book where I cried tears of relief simply knowing that I wasn't the only one whose brain is completely haywire. It was a little like going to some sort of support group.

The history portions of the book are probably the most reassuring, both because it's a relief to know that cures for migraines are much more friendly now than they have been in the past (Drilling holes in your skull? Leeches? Why always leeches?), and because so goddamn many famous people have suffered from them. I can't even begin to name all the famous people who suffered from migraines. Nearly every founding father. Essentially, anyone you would consider a genius. I know this is an "all rectangles are squares but not all squares are rectangles" situation, but it does make me feel better, like maybe during my next migraine I'll invent some sort of giant edible hovercraft.

The most potent part of the book, for me, as a reader, is his description of Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland as a migraine episode. The things that happen to Alice are the things that happen to you when you're having a migraine (or taking migraine drugs): your body seems to change size, colors can seem overly bright and vibrant or dark and awful, everything seems funny and nonsensical but you don't want to laugh. You feel, when you stand up, like you're going to fall forever down a rabbit hole that never ends. Carroll had migraines, and this portion, to me, is the perfect culmination of Levy's powers of observation and research.

Jaws
By Peter Benchley

For this, I think I'd prefer to share with you a review from a reader named "Miriam" over at goodreads.com, who rated the book "2-stars":
"I went to the Monterey Bay aquarium for a teachers symposium where they generously gave us a lot of their discarded educational materials and clearance items from the gift shop that hadn't been sold in a long time. Among those items were stacks and stacks of Jaws. They didn't care what we did with them so I took a whole stack and passed them out as prizes at a church social before I had read this book.
What I learned from this book is to never pass out any book at a church social before reading it.
When I found a lost lonely copy on the back of my closet shelf, I decided that I should read this book and to my horror, I found that there is gratuitous sex and coarse language in addition to the gore in the book. "
Apparently, along with those who don't know that the movie was a book first, there are those who don't know (somehow) that the book was a movie (maybe she didn't see the giant shark swimming towards the naked lady on the cover?). We're gonna need a bigger boat.  

I don't mean to make fun of Miriam, her review is pretty accurate really, and I like the story she tells. My review? It was pretty much what you'd expect for a thriller written in the 70's. It's bloody and rather sexist, but vaguely amusing. But it's about sharks, and who wouldn't like that?

Twilight
By Stephanie Meyer

It was $1.99 on my kindle. It was god-awful. I know this isn't true, but it feels as though every single sentence in this entire book starts with the word "I."

As in, "I tried to read Twilight to see what my 14 year-old cousins were freaking out over. I got through the first book. I wanted to kill myself."

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

Top Five Reasons Why I Can't Stop Watching GHOST WHISPERER

That's right. Jennifer Love Hewitt's crazy train wreck show about a lady who talks to spirits, and which can most often been viewed in syndication on networks like WE and Lady Problems. I'll admit it. I love this show. Here's why:


5. High-level emotional manipulation. Every single episode of the show is the same, and yet two out of three result in me ugly crying over a bag of donuts. Here's what happens: Melinda (J-Love) has some sort of gory but less-than-dangerous encounter with a a ghost who is a attached to a living person somehow. Ghost and person both need help, but they usually don't want it, against their best interest: ignorami. Some vague semblances of an on-going plot occurs. Melinda forces everyone to confront their issues and the ghost walks into the light. My brain explodes like a Lilith Faire next to a Midol factory.

4. D-list cameos. Every bit-part character on every show ever has been on it. Remember Frasier's agent Bebe? DEAD. The youngest daughter, Alex, from Modern Family? DEAD. The coroner, Lanie, from Castle? DEAD. Will Schuester and also Sugar, from Glee? DEAD. Jay Mohr, consummate d-list celebrity? He's a professor of uh, something. Jamie Kennedy and Camryn Manheim have regular spots and they are awesomely bad.

3. PDA. Seriously. This show features the healthiest marriage on television. Melinda and her husband Jim spend all their time making out, drinking wine, and resolving their minor arguments with tickle fights.
"Oh, I'm sorry I was kind of overbearing earlier because I'm so concerned about your well-being and it made you feel stifled, would you like me to run you a bath?"
"Yes, you know I love you for always supporting my need to help dead people reach closure. Let's make out."
Even after Jim dies and his soul enters the body of another person so that he can still be with Melinda (FOR REAL) their relationship is way more healthy than, frankly, um, 90% of all real-life relationships. If I died, I would totally do this for Tim.

2.  Flashbacks. Every so often they "flash back" to when Melinda was a teenager and J-Love dresses up like herself as a teenager, complete with braces and bad, bad hair. It's the perfect combination of sincerity ("I have to help the ghosts, y'all!") and insanity. I mean, look at this jumpsuit, for god's sake.  How can you not love a show where they take a woman with perfect skin and hair and make her look like she auditioned for Blossom and failed.


1. The Screaming. Ohhh the screaming. On at least every other episode, J-Love either "runs over" a ghost with her car, gets attacked by one in the shower, or has her hair pulled down the garbage disposal (FOR REAL). At some point, most people would be like, BITCH PLEASE, especially since nearly all of these incidents turn out to be totally non-threatening. However, I find it completely charming that Melinda still screams about everything, all the time. 

In case you were worried, a drinking game has evolved combining Melinda's frequent screams and her also not-infrequent cleavage shots.

This show is made of win.