Two birds, no stones.

Even though I have a sizable stack of books piling up in my "actually-read" pile, I'm only going to review (if you can call it that) two books on here in this post. The reason for this is that the next batch are all related by a loose theme that these two just really don't fall into at all, but I want to say a word or two about them. You know, so they don't look like misfits or rejects.

The Cider House Rules
by John Irving

Let me start by saying that every time I read a book by John Irving, it totally redeems my world and saves my life. It happened with The World According to Garp (even though I didn't like the book that much), it happened with A Prayer for Owen Meany (Which is in my top-five, all time, favorites), and it happened again with Cider House Rules. I picked this book up because I was really upset by something someone said about abortion. And I couldn't stop thinking about it for days ("thinking" is not even really a good term. "Chewing on" is probably better.) I called Kacie about it. I called Emily about it. I think it seeped into one of my calls with my mom...

Anyway, within five pages, I knew I had the book that would be my warm, cathartic blanket. The book both is and is not about abortion (who wants to read a book that just is about abortion? Hopefully no one.). More than that, it is about orphans and other normal and extraordinary people whose lives are complicated, mysterious, and and often lovely despite the fog. For me, it read like a love letter to the sane.

A word on the differences between movie and book: egads. There is a nebula of difference between the two. And while Tobey Maguire, sadly, plays the part of Homer Wells my head no matter how hard I try to extract him, the book is... well... a book. Also, my used copy of the book had clearly been used to entertain someone's toddler, as the back three pages are filled with what I assume are the artist's rendition of black holes.

I would recommend this book to: My mom, and anyone looking for a good, long, novel. Also anyone who doesn't understand that you can be pro-choice and pro-life at the same time, but I wouldn't only recommend it for that reason.

Breakfast of Champions
By Kurt Vonnegut

Where do I begin? Have you read anything by Vonnegut? If yes, please proceed to paragraph two. If no, please read paragraph one.

Paragraph one: Not to make you feel guilty, but how is that possible? Anyway, now that that's out of the way, don't start with this book because you'll be confused as hell and never read anything by him again (ok, maybe not). Start with Slaughterhouse-Five or maybe Cat's Cradle, but not this. Kurt Vonnegut is very smart, and very funny, but also rather a jerk sometimes when it comes to women which is funny for someone who has so many problems with the way the world is run. That being said, you should try reading something of his at least, just to know what the fuss is about.

Paragraph two: You've read something by Vonnegut and you're probably already expecting some ranting, and maybe inappropriate drawings, or aliens, or Kilgore Trout, even Vonnegut himself showing up to play "creator" and mess with his characters' lives. I picked this one up, I'll admit, because about ten years ago, I saw a preview for the movie version of this book that featured Bruce Willis looking all crazy and low-budget. I love Bruce Willis and somehow this was enough to make me want to read this book, but not enough to make me want to see the movie. Go figure.

It's about a car dealership owner who speed-reads a science fiction novel that says "you are the only being on earth with free will. Everyone else is a robot." But because he's going nuts, he thinks it's true.

If you take out all the parts where someone treats a woman like crap and include more drawings of small animals, my dad could easily have written this book. It's all meta-whatever, there are references to books that don't exist sprinkled in with ones that do, the author shows up and pokes around, and people may or may not get their limbs cut off.

When I got on the metro after buying this, a guy my age said, "That's my favorite book of all time." And I thought, "You've never heard of this book, are you joking?" And after reading it, I think Kurt Vonnegut would have said the same thing.

I would recommend this book to: People who like illustrations and non-sense. My dad, again, maybe, if he thinks he can stand the chauvinist bits.