Good Riddance, 2013

I wanted to post a round up of all the big news from 2013, but I have to admit, I'm glad that 2013 is over. When I sat down to come up with a list of good things, I came up with the following:

1. I got job. Using my degree. I am English Major and I got. a. job. Take that, Economy.

2. We went to Mexico. Which is literally impossible to complain about.

3. Tim got into the Foreign Service after 12 years of knowing that's what he wanted to do with his life. (Which means I finally get to leave DC! Hooray!)

4. I read 60 books. 60! That exceeded my goal by ten. However, I completely failed at reviewing any of them, but more on that some other time.

HOWEVER:

1. Our car DIED... while we were driving it. And we had to give it up. You know that part in Of Mice and Men when the guy takes Candy's old dog out and shoots him and you cry for an hour after reading it? Yeah, that's what happened with our car and even though I don't technically drive, I miss having it every single day.

2. We got booted from our apartment because the owner decided to sell it. So after four years of living in arguably the best location in all of DC, we had to pack up all our shit and hit the road.

3. I gained more than twenty pounds. And why is that?...

4. We've been trying to get pregnant for a year and a half and my hormones have gone completely off the rails. The entire experience has been extremely hard on my emotions, my attitude, and my health. The more time that passes, the more frustrating it gets. I don't like to admit it, but I never realized how quickly and easily I've gotten everything else in my life until now. I've never had a problem before that I couldn't find an easy solution for. An trust me, there is no easy solution for this problem.

To be honest, it's why I haven't blogged much this year. I kept thinking that, instead of telling people we were trying, I would get pregnant and we'd be able to spring the good news on everyone. Instead, we've had to field a lot of painful and awkward questions about when we're going to have a baby (and a lot of pictures of babies on Facebook, which I'm happy about--ok--but which are also just intensely painful to look at). I'm tired of feeling as though I've done something wrong and I'm not allowed to talk about it. 

So here are the two sides of the coin: 

Heads: I really, really, really don't want to talk about it, because I don't want to spend any more time thinking about it than I already do, which is a lot. (Again, thanks Facebook.)

Tails: I want to be ok with talking about it, because thanks to movies and television everyone thinks that you can get pregnant by literally just being in the same room as a fertile male without wrapping your whole body in bubble wrap... and that if you can't do that, then you're broken. I think a lot of women feel like they've been hit by an 18-wheeler when they find out that getting pregnant is HARD. It would be amazing if we had a cultural reality check. I didn't realize how many women I knew who dealt with infertility until I started talking about it... because no one else wants to talk about it either. It's fucking godawful.

So. I'm really glad this year is over. It's been real.*

*Tim would like me to add that I'm thankful for how amazing and supportive he has been through all of this, and that he's an incredible husband and friend whom I'm glad every day that I married. Also, he's good-looking.