Good, Dirty, Fun.

I love my job. But the fact of the matter is that it simply doesn't pay enough to feed my raging book addiction. Hence, I'm seeking alternate employment, which is one of the most painful and degrading tasks know to human-kind.  I'm ridiculously good at an obscene number of things. But do I have a Library Science degree? No. Do I have five-years of experience in Web Development? No. The experience that I DO have could fill a hefty tome, but it never seems to translate to resumé paper. Can't I just have potential employers call all my old bosses and ask them how far above-and-beyond I go?

No.

So. Here's a book review instead. Because even if the job search is always and by definition a shit sandwich, books are always wonderful.

Forrest Gump
By Winston Groom

"Let me say this: bein a idiot is no box of chocolates."

Oh Forrest Gump. The film that launched a thousand over-priced, unimpressive shrimp restaurants.  Is there anyone left on earth who hasn't seen this film? If so, I pity them because it clearly means they live in a war-torn wasteland somewhere without televisions.

I was surprised, considering the popularity of the film, that this book isn't more widely read. Of all of the ridiculous schlock they sell in the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. gift store, the book is conspicuously absent. I know because I've checked.

It's less surprising after you actually read the book. I suspect the reason that it's not featured in the BGSC, alongside smiley-face mugs and t-shirts that say things like "Stupid is as Stupid Does" is because the book isn't really family-friendly. The film is, in fact, only a distorted shadow of the book. Like trying to see your reflection in a puddle.

Groom's Forrest is built like a brick house. He's a big man, a football player, and although he is stupid, he is far from innocent. The book is narrated by Forrest, using a sort of "idiot-dialect" and through him, the grim humor of the book comes through. All of the familiar characters are there, but they are darker, their faults are more prominent. This version of Forrest is more honest.  When asked before an audience of potential recruits what he thinks of the Vietnam war, he answers, "It is a bunch of shit."  There are many genuinely funny moments in the book, but it's no light read. It's most definitely more difficult to digest than the film, and will be forever doomed to unfair comparisons.

The Bluest Eye
By Toni Morrison

How do you write about beauty and self-worth and race and their problematic relationship without completely breaking down? I have no idea how this novel was written. I've been waiting to read this book for years and I don't know what I expected, but I got something completely different. Though I should have known, being familiar with Morrison.

This is the story of a little black girl who wishes that she had beautiful blue eyes. The point of view shifts and changes, and we encounter all of the people around her and come to understand where that desire might come from. But because it's written by Toni Morrison, it's almost emotionally overwhelming. The writing is beautiful, the characters are vivid, but the book is unforgivingly brutal.

This is one of those books I feel everyone should be required to read, but am glad to same I'm done reading it. It's one of Morrison's first, and she has claimed that she feels it's badly written, amateurish. Maybe in places. But the story itself is one I'm glad someone (more intelligent and emotional mature than me) had the chutzpah to tell.

The Changeling Bride
By Lisa Cach

Here's something completely different.  Please observe the two covers at left. The top is the cover accompanying my Kindle edition of The Changeling Bride. The bottom is the trade paperback cover. Had I seen the trade paperback cover, I probably never would have first purchased and then DEVOURED this book.  Yes, that means I'm judgmental and snobby, and in this case I'm sorry for it.

This is the story of a young woman who receives a coupon good for "one free husband." In a moment of frustration, she jokingly attempts to cash in the coupon and is promptly swallowed by a mud slide that takes her into the past. The 1780's, to be exact. Upon arriving, she discovers that in one day she will be married as part of an arranged union. Will she be able to get out of it? Will she be able to get home? Will she... fall in love?

This book is infinitely silly. It's concerned with all the same things I would be concerned with if I were in such a ridiculous situation, such as: where does one pee? Do people really eat meat puddings every. single. day? Why are the clothes so uncomfortable? Time travel? What?

Make no mistake about it, this is a romance novel. It is, in actual fact, the first and only romance novel I've ever read, thanks to false advertising. But I'll admit that I didn't find any of the gross, sexist, "wilting female" tropes I expected to find. It was just good, dirty fun from beginning to end.