An Open Letter to My Friends and Family

On the Occasion of My Marriage

Tim and I were engaged on August 15, 2010. For anyone who's counting that means we had just over two years, or exactly 791 days to shed blood, sweat, and tears over our wedding on June 16, 2012. Which, for for those of you counters, was an event that was just over five and a half hours long.

During the wedding and since (and weirdly, in the week BEFORE the wedding even happened) so many people have told me that it was perfect. I have received a flood of compliments on literally every aspect from the food and decorations, to everyone's clothes, to how well everyone got along.

All of this is incredibly important to me, of course, after so much planning and working so hard to bring people from so far afield into my favorite place on the planet without giving anyone a coronary.

But despite everyone trying to give me all kinds of credit, I absolutely did not do it all by myself.

There were many times in the two years leading up to this crazy celebration when Tim and I wondered why we were doing this at all. It would be much easier to just... not. There are lots of ways to get married that don't involve the expense and time and pressure (oh my god! the pressure!) of having a big wedding in a far-off place, where people must travel and every bit of equipment has got to be trucked or bucked.

There when many moments, particularly in the months just beforehand, when things looked anything BUT perfect and I went to see a lot of movies, since it was either that or start drinking.

However, one does not get to marry someone like Tim every day. Anyone who's ever read a wedding planning book or looked at theknot.com can attest that the groom is supposed to be sort of like a cardboard cutout who stands where he's told and lets people hand him things and hang stuff on him until it's time for him to have a bachelor party and then say "I do." Luckily, Tim is a fully functional human being with a mind of his own. Without him, this wedding not only would not have happened in the most obvious sense, but it also would have fallen to complete shambles. You probably know this by now, but I love him and appreciate his willingness to spiral into insanity with me.

The thing that kept us sane was not really the promise of a big, fun party. It was our friends and family helping in colossal and sometimes unexpected ways. The thing that keeps you from running off to Vegas is the realization that only the lucky ones get to have big, crazy weddings with friends and family like ours. It's a once in a life-time deal. A wedding it not just about two people, alone in the center of the universe, at least I don't think it should be.

There are so many people who helped us with this wedding, some of whom couldn't even attend. It would take reams of paper to name everyone individually and list all of your accomplishments and how eternally grateful I am, we are, for your time and energy and enthusiasm and money and moral support and man-power and patience. Nothing anyone did was "little."  Some of the things that people did for us in the days and months before the wedding were huge. Gargantuan. Planetary. We have no way to pay some of you back for your kindness.

I know I speak for both Tim and myself when I say that I'm honored to have the friends and family that I do. Thank you. You're perfect.