You know my name, look up the number...

The modern world has destroyed my concept of multitasking. The other day my grandmother called and I immediately asked, "What are you up to?" (which is what I always ask when I get on the phone with someone). And she said, "Well I'm calling you."

Oh.

Right.

Placing a phone call IS an activity. Typically, making a phone call is something I do when I "have some free time": i.e. when I'm walking somewhere, or cleaning something, or baking a cake. Because God forbid anyone ever actually sit in one spot and perform one activity at a time, on a phone that only performs the function of making phone calls.

Do you remember the last time you answered a landline phone and had to make an excuse for someone who was there but didn't want to take the call?

"Hello?"
"Hey, is Bob there?"
(Bob gesturing frantically in the background)
"Uhh, no, Bob went out to buy a can of catfood, can I take a message?"

Or my favorite, the passive aggressive refusal to make excuses:

"Hello?"
"Hey, is Bob there?"
(Bob gesturing frantically in the background)
"Yeah! He's right here. He's been waiting for your call!"

This happens to some degree in an office, but is way less fun because of Caller-ID and voice mail and general office etiquette.

I'm not saying that I want to go back to a world without cell phones. But it was kind of cool to have everyone's phone number actually memorized in my actual, real brain (how many phone numbers do you have memorized now?), and I liked answering the house phone and getting to talk to whomever called for a second before passing it off to my mom, or dad or whoever. Conversely, I always liked calling my friends and talking to their moms for a second before they got on the phone. And knowing that if they didn't want to talk to me, they had to fess up and make an excuse instead of just ignoring me and letting it go to voice mail.

Sooooo passive aggressive.

Ahhh them good old days. I think I can feel the rain a'comin' in my bum knee.

Tolstoy Treats: UPDATE

Thinking about the potential freedom of getting to read independently was seriously making it impossible to concentrate, especially since my desk faces my "unread books" bookshelf, which is either shamefully or awesomely burdened with books depending on how you feel about personal libraries (and personal budgeting).

I also kept thinking about the books I put on my Christmas wish list and whether or not it's evil to buy one for yourself ahead of time. I went to Borders for the first time in months today, and it was like falling off the wagon. Falling off the wagon.

I haven't been to Borders in so long I feel like my sponsor should give me a chip. Aaaaaand today they should take it away.

Anyway, this is my current short-list. I'm not fishing for gifts here. I'm posting this because these are all books I've heard nothing but great things about, and though I haven't read them, you might be looking for a read or a gift idea. Trust me, you don't really want to know about the books I've been reading for class, so this in lieu of a book review.

• Celebrity Chekhov: Stories by Anton Chekhov, by Ben Greenman A remake of a classic without and zombies or vampires. Unless celebrities count as bloodsuckers.
  
  
• How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe, by Charles Yu I love new, unique science fiction that just has that feel to it
  
  
• At Home, by Bill Bryson Is it because I'm engaged, or because I'm sick of renting?
  
  
• Shop Class as Soulcraft, by Matthew Crawford We live in a world where people are primarily interested in buying things, this book is interesting to me because he celebrates the pleasure of craft.
  
  
• Packing for Mars, by Mary Roach Roach's books are always insanely entertaining--dead bodies, the afterlife, sex, and now the final frontier. Sign me up.
  
  
• The Magicians, by Lev Grossman Harry Potter for grown-ups? Jessica R., your continued endorsements have sunk in.
  
  
• Snow Crash, by Neil Stephenson This is supposed to be the best work of a phenomenal science fiction writer.
  
  
• Everything Ravaged, Everything Burned, by Wells Tower I don't usually like short stories at all, but these are all about men. Put that way it doesn't sound that great, but I've heard great things.
  
  
• The Food of a Younger Land: A portrait of American food- before the national highway system, before chain restaurants, and before frozen food, when the nation's food was seasonal, by Mark Kurlansky His book Salt was wonderfully enlightening and entertaining, this one promises to be even better. (And isn't that a hell of a subtitle?)
  
  
• The Hunger Games Trilogy, by Suzanne Collins It's for teenagers. I don't care.
  

Anyway, so my solution to my book dilemma was to buy myself a book that wasn't on this list, wrap it, and stick it under the tree. I'm not telling what it is because... it's a surprise ('cause it's a gift, get it?). I can open it and read it when my last paper is turned in. And hopefully now I can stop thinking about it!

Tolstoy Treats

I'm reeeeeally supposed to be working on my final papers, but I'm distracted because somewhere in the middle of yesterday I decided that I would allow myself to read ONE (1) for-fun book after finals, over the break.

Why?

Well this is what's going on: my oral exam is scheduled to take place at the end of January, hence am currently in my six-week reading period for said huge exam, meaning that I am supposed to be living and breathing all things Boxing in American Literature. This is fine in that I constructed the reading list myself, so I get to get down and dirty with some texts I really want to read like Gus Lee's China Boy, and Trevor Von Eden's The Original Johnson.

This is not cool in that if I don't get to just turn my brain off and consume some brain candy, and STAT, I might actually, physically explode.

You would think, as a graduate student, as someone whose job it is to read all the time, I would want to go on vacation and maybe run a marathon, or re-watch all of Battlestar Galactica, or put myself in a corner, and oh, say stare at a blank wall and hum quietly. But I enjoy reading. This summer I read thirteen books. Last holiday break I read four (yes, I do keep count, thankyouverymuchas). I really think that this on-the-side reading is what has kept me from from going ballistic.

So while I'm sitting here trying to eloquently describe the class and gender implications in Million Dollar Baby (hooo boy), what I'm really thinking is, "which book, which book, which book, which booooooooooook will I read when this crap is over???" I'm like a dog looking at a buffet table which is just a little too high. If someone would just throw me a friggin' bone, I would be so happy!

When Harry Met Sally Met Chicken

Do you remember that part in "When Harry Met Sally" where they both say "Chicken Paprikash" over and over again and it's really funny? What about the part where they're playing Pictionary and the clue is "baby's breath" and the fat guy keeps guessing "baby fish mouth?"

hahahahahahahah

I love that part. It has nothing to do with anything, but I love it anyway.

So I made Chicken Paprikash for dinner the other night, and I figured that since it was both easy and delicious, you might want to try it too. This recipe is modified to serve two people.

1/4 cup butter
1/2 white or yellow onion, diced
3 heaping teaspoons paprika
salt
pepper
4 chicken legs or 2 large boneless chicken breasts, cut up
3/4 to 1 cup chicken stock
3/4 cup sour cream
1 tbsp flour

Egg noodles, rice, mashed potatoes, or potato dumplings to serve underneath the Paprikash.

In a large pot or frying pan, melt the butter on medium low heat and stir in the onions. Saute the onions approximately ten minutes or until quite soft and translucent. Add paprika, a dash of salt and a few dashes of black pepper (don't over do it). At this point, add your chicken. It will need to cook a different length of time depending on the cut. For legs, cook at least 5-6 minutes on each side, for cut up pieces, cook for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

If you have chosen to use legs, remove them to a plate and slowly mix in the chicken broth, making sure to gently scrape any delicious bits from the bottom/sides of the pan (AKA, deglaze the pan). Return the legs to the pan. If you using boneless chicken, this processes can be done, slightly less gracefully, with the chicken still in the pan.

Cover and cook for ten more minutes over medium heat. If it looks as though your sauce is boiling away, feel free to add a little more water/broth or turn down the heat a little. It shouldn't be boiling too hard. Mix flour into the sour cream. After ten minutes, add the sour cream mixture into the sauce and make sure it is stirred well and all the chicken is coated (you can remove the legs again if you wish).

Serve over egg noodles, rice, mashed potatoes, or potato dumplings.

MeatandCheese-Only said, "this is zesty!" and also cleaned his plate, which is two thumbs up, I believe.