Full many...

Full many a gem of purest ray serene,
The dark unfathomed caves of ocean bear;
Full many a flower is born to blush unseen,
And waste its sweetness on the desert air.

-Thomas Gray, 1753

Pictures from inside America...

Well hello.

Have you ever seen a more handsome boy in your entire life? (Him, not me. I'm not a boy.)

We just got back from New Orleans and the week of crazy ridiculousness is finally over. As you well know, the party started two Saturdays ago with Tim and Kristin's "Bring Your Own Theme" party of delight. In between then and now we've had VD, Tim's Birthday, the Bridal Tea Party, the Rehearsal Dinner, the Wedding (of course), and Mardi Gras. Oh yeah, and daily life doesn't pause for all of that, so there's been some other stuff in there. Needless to say my house looks like crap and everyone's exhausted, but today might be the most beautiful day I've ever seen in Shreveport and all of life is utterly lovely.

If you notice a bit of a contrast from two posts ago when I was losing my mind, it's Mardi Gras break and I don't have to face the music for at least anther two days... so here I am.

The wedding was phenomenal. I would post more pictures of Jason and Kristin in the remarkable photogenicity and cuteness, but let's face it, this is my blog. And they get all the credit for everything with their fancy "wedding." Pph.

In case you missed my toast, this is the long version: I feel very particularly fantastic about this wedding. Jason and I were friends from the first week of school. His presence pretty much defined my entire freshman year at Centenary. I honestly wonder sometimes that I ever lived without knowing him. When you have a friend like that, you're bound to think, "there is no one on earth good enough for this person."

Almost a year after the day that I met Jason to the day, I met Kristin. (I actually met every other member of the Bridal Party before I met her.) We were driving in Jason's truck to Pref Parties at the lake, Jenkins was a tiny, ridiculous puppy. Kristin was totally willing to let me put him in my mouth. She was even supportive and sympathetic to my seemingly irrational need to put small animals and cute things in my mouth. (She totally would have supported my attempt to put an entire parade in my mouth this weekend.) She was not only good enough for Jason, it didn't take a genius to see that she was (and still is) perfect for Jason. Um, and I'm kind of in love with her myself, so things just keep getting better.

In case you can't tell, our pants say "Smartypants," which was entirely her idea and if she denies it, she lies.

I love Jason, but he and I were, uh, a stupid couple. Kristin and Jason have that kind of love that makes you think, "Jesus, if they weren't together... there's just nothing more wrong than the idea of them not together." Not to mention that their dogs would be pissed.

I've been a party to some of Jason's dumbest (shave your head much?) and most AWESOME ideas. I can say with complete sincerity that proposing to Kristin was the best idea Jason ever had. For completely selfish reasons, I'm totally all for this. I like knowing that I can make one phone call and reach two of my favorite people on earth. Even if they are both hookers.

Kristin, if you're reading this GET OFF THE COMPUTER AND GO PLAY ON THE BEACH OR I WILL EAT YOUR DOGS.


Also, might I just add that that was the most pee-your-pants excited I've ever been in my life? Everyone who came to town for the party is my hero. It was so awesome to see everyone again. Um, who can complain when Jared makes you breakfast, Blake walks you down the isle, everyone eats cake and then you get to Wii to your heart's content?


These are my favorite pictures from Mardi Gras. New Orleans still looks like hell, still needs more help than anyone is willing to offer and still makes me cry just by being the way it is.







I wish the Universities there offered the programs Tim and I want or we'd go there in a heartbeat. Not to mention that we'd be closer to Mat, Jared, Patrick, Kakie and everyone else, which would be fantastic.

goodbye.

Le vent nous portera...

When my alarm went off this morning, it randomly selected The Cure's "It's Friday, I'm in Love." This seems ultimately appropriate considering the week it's been and will be. Tim and I had our fourth Valentine's Day, which is cool and strange and surprising and not all at once. He also turned 23 yesterday, which blows my mind a little bit. I never thought I'd date someone younger than me, since I was always the youngest person in my class. Goes to show how much I know. I like that there are times when he is infinitely older and wiser than I am. And there are times when I'm the one with all the know-how. It's a good balance, I think.

Today is Kristin's Bridal Tea, and this evening it's the rehearsal dinner. I've pretty much never been more excited about two days' events in my life. I really can't think of anything I'd rather do right now than be in the wedding. I don't even like weddings. I spend half my time studying why they're a failing social construction of little real value to individuals... but sometimes all that book learnin' just doesn't cut it against the evidence of daily life. The only thing I'm not excited about is that after the wedding that means there are only a few short months before Jason and Kristin move to Arkansas and take their Wii and their dogs with them. God damn it.

I'll post pictures after the festivities. Everyone's coming to town and I really, really couldn't me happier.

Oh yeah, last night I saw Ryan Goodwin run face first into a sign at full speed and then bounce off, also at full speed. The sign was virtually unfazed. It was one of the funniest things I've EVER seen in my whole life. I give Patrick credit.

In a hole...

This is the most exhausted I have ever felt in my life. I have gotten myself into too many things: four jobs (20 hours a week), 18 hours of class, honors, this French book, a gender conference (if I ever hear back from them), Kristin's wedding (which isn't time-consuming yet, but it will be, in a good way).

I am overwhelmed. But now that I'm in it, I have to finish it, all of it, to the best of my ability.

I really, honestly miss listening to music and gluing bits of paper to other bits of paper, making origami and throwing it away, organizing photographs, having paint under my fingernails, reading for fun and without a deadline, watching movies, cooking things I don't need to eat in order to survive, sending postcards to people, writing thoughtful emails... the list goes on. I haven't written in my journal more than 20 times in the past two years, I used to write every day, back when I was a sane person.

Anyway, I'm tired. I'm ready to graduate so that I can stop living for a product at 100%, 100% of the time. I probably won't write again for a couple of weeks, not because I don't have anything to say, but because I feel a tangible guilt when I do something that's not assigned to me or making money.

Which I hate.

I miss you like I missed you when I was here:

Like gold to airy thiness beat...

Interestingly, Blogger no longer works from my house... so. It's been a while since I've posted anything.

Last Wednesday was my third anniversary with Tim. For some reason, I keep wanting to say it's the fourth or fifth, but that's probably because there is no room left in my brain for real life. All the available space has been taken up by lyric poetry, New Testament Christology, important dates of the French Revolution, and the meaning of Metaphysics.

I'm tempted to say, "I can't believe it's been three years..." But really, I can. We like each other. It's pretty simple. It's actually harder to believe that I've lived in the Pussycat Palace for a year and a half, or that we went to France two years ago (!) than it is to conceive of liking Tim so much. He's pretty much amazing.

We couldn't really do anything for our anniversary on the 17th, since I had to lay out the paper. (The paper, by the way, looks amazing. I think every article got turned in for the first time in HISTORY and Versha is inspiring in her enthusiasm.) We went to Tacomania with Carly, who gave me a gift certificate to eat there, because she's awesome too.

This weekend, we went to Marshall, TX and spent the night in a B&B called "The Three Oaks." We really didn't get to do too much about the town because it was raining and all but two shops were open. We walked around away and had a hot chocolate in an art gallery full of horrible, overpriced local art. We went to dinner at a place called OS2, where there was a table full of southern ladies wearing tiaras and another full of women dressed like movie stars. Marilyn Monroe, Roxie Hart, Meryl Streep, Princess Grace, Audrey Hepburn, etc. etc. etc. One cosmopolitan after another.

The Bed and Breakfast was AWESOME. The "inn-keeper" was a former belly dancer and rennie, who was the first stranger I've met in the "real world" who understands the joy of getting paid insult people and throw meat at them. The house was over a hundred years old and we had a claw-foot bathtub IN our room. There will be a bathtub in every room of my house someday. For breakfast we had raspberry-stuffed french toast with fresh pears and strawberries which was fabulous for me, but sad for Tim, who could only eat his sausage links. The look on his face when the host set a cup of coffee in front of him was pricelessly sad.

The two other guests at breakfast were a pair of romance novel writers who talked about each other but not themselves. "Diane writes crime romances." "Well, Susan writes paranormal loves stories." "She writes great love scenes." They were hilarious.

Beyond all that, I absolutely love my job in the President's Office. Ms. Connie is funny as hell, and therefore extremely fun to work with. And I have to admit that having the President of the College personally compliment you is a great confidence booster.

Things are good. Jason and Kristin have a Wii and my iPod's in the mail. I still fit in my bride's maid dress and I haven't gotten a migraine in a few weeks... I can't complain.

I'm talkin' to you...

but you're not listenin'
I don't know what to do
my heart is blisterin'... ~Joshua Radin

Stupid use of apostrophes, I know, but it's basically how I feel. How do you help someone who won't even talk to you, let alone listen? Why are teenagers so terribly saddening?

The first week of school has been relatively uneventful. I've got my head in the gutter, because, once again, I've got other people's tragedies on my mind. I'm never having kids. Just plants. Or, I'm only having kids if they listen to my wisdom as well as my plants do.

This semester is going to be over before I even know it. Working in the President's office is a blast and all of my classes are already tying in to eachother and overlapping, just the way I like it.

I miss the old TKE house and everyone in it with my whole heart. It's friday night and I just want to sit on the front porch and watch everyone's drama revolve around and through the house. Oh, and listen to booty music instead of this sad-sap music that makes me sad about everything I surely can't fix.

Burn it down, Charlie Brown

In case you can't tell, I've been avoiding the internet like an ebola enraged monkey. The basic reason for that is that if I have to choose between thinking about responsibility and thinking about twinkly christmas tree lights and candy, it's clearly wiser to choose the latter. Not that my break was in any way uneventful.

Things I did:

-Went to the doctor FOUR times. Heck of a way to spend a vacation, eh? But I feel grand. It was one of those chain-reaction type surgery-gives-you-sore-throat-gives-you-bronchitis-gives-you-ebola-gives-you-crabs kind of things. Just kidding about the ebola and the crabs. Sorry.

-Burned down a house. I'm pretty sure it was illegal, but we burned down my grandpa's old vet clinic. Basically, they pushed it into a ravine, poured gas on it, and lit it on fire. People don't believe the stories I tell about living in the country, but I think it's only because they're jealous that nothing this bizarre happens in their daily lives.

-Had a family crisis. It's still not resolved, but maybe I'll tell you about it in like hundreds of years when we can all look back and laugh.

-Got some great presents and (I hope) gave some too. I always underestimate just how vast and varied is the number of material objects one can find for purchase on this planet. In the category of priceless things, my family gave me the 105 year-old camera that belonged to my great grandparents. I got to spend quality time with my parents for the first time in what feels like years. Emily picked me over going home to Denver on New Years, even though there was nothing to do in the valley. My stepdad made jerky out of an elk he pried out of a fence. I got to see a blizzard. My dog loves me. And Tim called me everyday, so I felt neat-o.

Now I'm home (shreveport home, not real home) and I'm not liking how I feel about this semester. I think I may be unfit to be a grown up, because I really just want to sleep in, watch movies, and try out new recipes all day instead of going to class or work. Maybe that's everyone, I don't know.

But I'm not going to waste my last semester of undergraduate college whining about how much I'd rather be asleep. Tim and I will be going off.... somewhere... in less that six(!) months. I should appreciate it. Though, I have to say, I rue the day when Jason and Kristin move away because they are absolutely my favorite couple of people to hang out with. I was looking forward to the faraway day when my kids and their kids could hit eachother while we drink daiquiris and ignore them.

Yay, holiday breaks!